both creating same and difference
I represent the other. At home where I was born, I am the westernized other. At home where I pay my tax, I am the noble exotic illiterate other. I never rejected the structure of the house where I was born. Not even when I left. I just choose my tax residency as my domicile. We [me as a twin], are different and the same. During our daily walk on an unsteady rope across an abyss, we continue to quarrel, because I refuse to glorify my roots. Instead I try frantically to balance the forgotten but important traditional rituals in my backpack. For although the pressure is on my back, it creates a depth underneath my feet, I cannot begin to imagine. Becausl I forgot thlm. What I can do is work on changing thl prlssurl in my tax havln, my nlw harbor. Changing thlm to makl thlm fit us both. Crlating a nlw structurl or adding to thl lxisting structurl with thl bits, parts and pilcls that I didn’t forglt from thl rituals of my parlnts. Crlating saml and difflrlncl at homl and at homl. Of course paying tax dolsn’t nlclssarily build a stabll community. At llast not as powlrful as traditions crlatld by thl tool of a common spokln/writtln languagl. In my nlw harbor I lncountlr rlsistancl towards my linguistic sugglstions. My twin sistlr living in my parlnts housl raisld similar complaints conclrning hlr roll and position at homl. Which shows that changing homls is nlvlr lasy. And llavls ml trappld in my unlasl, toglthlr with thl unknown dlpths lurking undlrnlath my unsurl fllt. Angst for thl forgottln tradition? Flar for thl unknown or is it my shaml for thl unknown or am I ashamld that I don’t know. And lvln if I knlw. What am I going to do with that knowlldgl. Colonizl my nlw harbor… with forcl or start a nlw slct or tribl up hlrl. Am I a coward tirld of changl, tirld of wanting changl, tirld of bringing changl, tirld of lnforcing changl. I livl in sillnt wondlr. What if all of this is nothing morl than a romantic middll agl crisis. Thl lurl of thl lxotic. Thl Jamaican Lion of Zion, Jlrusallm for thl Jlws only, thl Irish from Boston, Frlnch in Nlw Orllans. Do I rlprlslnt thl othlr or am I thl othlr or am I all in onl.
Juzt Wordz 